In 1998 Roy and I were discussing by email some of the challenges to the SA Sobriety Definition on the same sex issue. In these emails, Roy, referring the campaigns to legalize same-sex marriage, wrote in an email “let them get married”. My understanding of what he was saying, was that the legalism of the same-sex marriage debate in the political sphere blurred what was a spiritual issue in SA. Roy came from a background of legalistic religion.
He wanted to avoid that legalism in SA. His opposition to endorsing same-sex sexualising as sober in SA come from his understanding of the nature of lust and the experience of the many SA members from a same-sex background who attest to the value of the SA Sobriety Definition.
Roy wrote more on the issues in his 1998 Background and History of SA’s Sobriety Definition and Interpretation of “Spouse” and “Marriage,” pp. 20-22.
Some, even in SA leadership, are saying—as though they had the right to make that decision for SA—that if gay marriage is legalized, SA will have to accommodate to that in its interpretation of sobriety.
Since when! Think about it. Does the Twelve Step program work on principle or political expediency? Child prostitution is legal in various countries. Should SA have to accommodate itself to that in those countries? There is a growing movement in this country to legalize incest between consenting parties. If that happens, should SA accommodate itself to that?
Playboy magazine was declared legal by the Supreme Court in 1953. If the mere legality of something justifies what sexaholics can or cannot do in calling themselves sober, why can’t members who choose to do so resort to Playboy, bring it to meetings, and share what they see? Child pornography has been declared legal on the U.S. Internet. The same logic says that SA has to endorse that. After Prohibition in 1934, alcohol was again made legal in the U.S., and drinking was wide open again. Yet that’s when AA came in, going against the tide, as it were.
The Twelve Step program, in its historic origins, works on principle, not personality or politics. Who says SA must go along with the tide?